![]() ![]() Not even the epic “I’m Your Captain/Closer to Home”-that long-stemmed staple of FM radio that constitutes Grand Funk’s sole stab at high-seriousness-justifies the band’s existence. No, you don’t hear it until “Heartbreaker,” an echoing and bluesy number that almost-but doesn’t quite-break through the wall that separates Grand Funk Railroad from greatness. And it’s certainly not in evidence on the brain-dead live take of “Mean Mistreater” that has crawled onto the LP to breathe its last. And you won’t find it in “Take Me”-which evokes the funky spirit of the Doobie Brothers, god help us-either. It’s not there in “Time Machine”-a truly vapid Cream rip if ever there was one-or in the too limpid by far “Rock’n’Roll Soul,” an invitation to a party you’d have to be insane to want to attend. Ah, but if you listen carefully-although I’ll be damned if I know why you’d want to-to 2006’s Greatest Hits, you’ll catch brief glimpses of what might-might!-have made Grand Funk Railroad one of the biggest arena acts of the benighted seventies. Me, I simply mumble something about how “We’re an American Band” is an absolutely brilliant song and then lapse into an uncomfortable silence. No, trying to explain the phenomenal success of Grand Funk Railroad is like trying to explain the goings-on in the Bermuda Triangle-both induce the vertigo that accompanies any attempt to parse the uncanny. And nobody, and I mean nobody, ever accused “the Funk” of being smart. They’re certainly not hip now, and I have a hard time believing anybody thought they were hip then. They were heavy, sure, but unlike such Midwestern bands as the Stooges and the MC5, Grand Funk had no edge whatsoever. It’s hard to know from the vantage point of 2017, when the mass popularity of Grand Funk seems utterly inexplicable. What exactly was it in the Grand Funk Railroad musical recipe that attracted millions of devoted fans? That said, the longhairs ate this shit up. Sure, this is meat and potatoes rock-but just what kind of meat are we talking about? My high school cafeteria served up what we called “mystery meat,” and that about says it all. ![]()
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